I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
