are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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