my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
