We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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