Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
