I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
