we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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