No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
