the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
