how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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