My room smells like vodka and shame
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
