Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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