Can Purell be used as lube?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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