Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
