addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
