dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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