she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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