..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
