he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
