you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
