the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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