4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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