I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
