please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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