Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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