Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
