I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
