I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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