We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
