I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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