No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
