i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
