I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
