Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
