Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
