We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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