i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
