Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
