i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
