What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
