She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm having to shit out rocks
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
