Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
