Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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