too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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