so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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