I skipped work to stalk him.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
