I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
