Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
