come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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