He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
