weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
