Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
cat food counts as protein by the way
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
