Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
